I thought I was finally getting acquainted with good days and bad days and a little of both. Today, however, when we found out that Jacob was not going to be able to come home on Saturday and that they put him on oxygen I was really frustrated and down. I thought he was doing better, he had failed his car seat test because he has trouble breathing in that particular position, but I didn't know that he would require full-time oxygen to help him breathe. I think the fact that he had not needed respiratory assistance from the beginning except for about 24 hours was something I had held onto like an anchor in the middle of all this new vocabulary and changing statuses. Whatever it was it hit me hard. The other thing is that I was driving down to GA state to do some hanging out with students and training in evangelism and I really could not focus on it, I needed to focus on what the Lord was leading me through for the next couple hours.
Which leads me to the blessing- just the unbelievable peace and assurance of my faith as I was able to have conversations with several different people who have completely different stories and backgrounds than I do. It was fun! Yes I actually enjoyed striking up conversations with people using some photographs and talking to them about their life and sharing a little of mine. The unbelievable blessing of giving away what has been giving to me and the timely distraction to do something that I would have to rely on God for instead of wallowing in my frustration and questions. One more day, one more way to trust the Lord.
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