Turkey Day in the 'Jevo

I was excited about the rolls and the pumpkin pie!
Tony, the turkey; Griffin did a great job of making almost everything!
We had some of our friends over for an "American Traditional Thanksgiving!"
Andrew, Nathan, Chad, Faruk, and Haris
Rhesia, Griffin, Kat, and I

Sarajevo in the fall

Rakovica, 8-week retreat


Vilsonovo sestaliste "Wilson's Walk", right near my apt.

Cinema, Cappuccino, and Chaos

So Rhesia, and I went to see a movie at the new cinema in town with our friend, Amra. I knew it was at the same time as a football game, but didn't really give it that much thought. Little did I know what I was getting into...

My first taste of Bosnian excitement and fanaticism for the game we call soccer. As we left the theater after seeing Suragati (Surrogates) we headed to Metropolis to grab coffee and talk about what we had just seen. We walked across the sidewalk at the BBI Centar and there was trash everywhere from tons of people standing and watching the match at the huge screen on the side of the centar. We got to the cafe and sat down and what sounded like a riot started on the street right outside of the cafe. Hundreds of fans with Bosnia i Hercegovina flags and scarves and shirts and jerseys and all kinds of paraphernalia we everywhere running down the street, yelling, shooting off firecrackers (i hope) and going crazy. Bosnia had beat Estonia 2-0 and now they are very hopeful for the match against Spain on Wednesday.

I tried so hard to pay attention to the discussion we were having- about the war and Amra's thoughts on that. We also talked a lot about why we like the movie and how we would feel if we had surrogates to go out and live our lives for us and the ethics behind that. I kept shifting my gaze to the insanity going outside- wanting so much to go be a apart of something that crazy, yet at the same time wondering how you can be this crazy for a sport. America has nothing like it.

There were traffic jams everywhere because of the sheer number of people in the street and driving cars and on top of cars and hanging out of cars and running across the street, basically mass chaos with policia present, but just kind of watching just in case.

On the walk back home, Rhesia and I ran into some more of our friends!

slippers, coffee, and sleep

I have no idea what the previous obsession was with food, maybe I was hungry!

I'm sitting on the couch contemplating how different my life has been since coming to Sarajevo. I'm processing that different doesn't mean bad, just what it implies- not the same. I need some more hangers for my closet, but the reason I don't have them is not because I'm too lazy to go get them, it's because something that simple requires walking 5 min. to a tram stop, riding it for several stops and walking about 10 min. to Mercator (their version of Target), but then whose to say they actually have hangers. It's very hit and miss over here. One day they have them , the next day you go back to get more and you end up getting something different because they are out of the baskets or hangers or whatever you got before. The same thing happens in grocery stores, you kinda have to be flexible with what you want to eat- your kind of milk, etc.

I think that makes me grateful for the things I do have, though. I'm so thankful for having two great roommates that have bent over backwards to help me find things and really feel at home. I discovered that some of my "can't live withouts" include sheets that fit my bed, a clock, a coffee maker (and filter for it), slippers (thanks, Judy), and at least 7+ hours of sleep on my almost comfortable bed. The acquisition of each of these is a feat in and of itself.

Two weeks and counting...

I can't believe I've been here two weeks! I've met people and walked more than I have in my life and eaten so many different foods I can't keep up.

Today I tried Palačinke (crepes) at Cafe Brasil. They were pretty good-wish I'd taken a picture. They had bananas and chocolate inside with sladoled čokolada (chocolate icecream) and slag (whipped cream) on top! mm mm good!

Bosnia is known for specifically two foods: Čevapičiči, and Pita. Very interesting these are too. Čevapičiči is similar to Turkish kofte, or ground beef with onions and other spices rolled into logs (for lack of a better word). It is served usually in a big hamburger/type bun with lettuce and ajvar, a red sauce.

Pite (pie) is dough filled with meat, cheese, potatoes, or spinach. I haven't tried the one with potatoes, but the others are ok. Kinda greasy, but filling.

Unlike the great city of Istanbul which has every restaurant you could want, (Ok not Outback, but close) Sarajevo has a lot of restaurants that serve Čevapi and Pite and Palačike. They're everywhere. We did find a great Italian restaurant near where I live in Grbavica last night!

Probably the place that I have frequented the most is Torte i to. It's a small cafe two buildings over that has great tea, non-smoking, free wifi, and most of all cheesecake! Apparently it's where a bunch of people from the US embassy hang out because it's non-smoking and everywhere else is. The cheesecake is also a welcome comfort food. I've probably been there at least every other day or so since it was not until today that I was able to connect at our apartment.

Moving to Bosnia

Yesterday I left my home and got on a plane that would take me to Sarajevo (after two other flights) and completely change my life as I know it. It was mix of emotions between being so excited that I couldn't believe that I was finally there and terrified thinking, "What am I doing?!?!?" But as always the Lord planned ahead and was with me every step of the way- worrying for me so I didn't have to, allowing me to meet people on my journey such as Maria from Romania, and encouraging my spirit by showing time and time again that He was already in Bosnia!

My team and I arrived late because our last flight was delayed. We found two taxis to cram all of us and luggage in and headed to Grbavica, the area of town where our apts are. Praise the Lord, all of our luggage made it!

His plans, or mine?

As, I was reading and came across this quote:

"Do you want your own plans, or the ones that God has for you? His plans are always better, you know, even though it may not seem that way right now."

It was in response to experiencing the death of a loved one, but I think it applies to every aspect of life. I can't see into the future very far, but what I do see I try to plan out every square inch of if I get the chance. As I look to the Lord more and more for wisdom and His guidance I am reminded that the planning is His job. He has ordained my steps. He knows everything about me from when I would be born into what family, where I will live, what I will do, what I will struggle with and what will bring me huge amounts of joy! He ultimately has the best plans for me and longs to share them with me as I allow Him to.

My response to Him should not be based on how I feel about His Truth, but in faith that He has the best plan for me, plans to prosper me and not for me to fail, but for hope and a brilliant future. As I'm talking to people about what the Lord is doing in the hearts and lives of students in Sarajevo, Bosnia, and challenging them to be involved in what God is doing, I'm reminded that even this does not look exactly like I had pictured in my "plan." My feelings and plans change, but the thing that does not change is Who God is and what He has done for me.

I want to follow His plans even though they are not what I was expecting! Oh Lord help me trust you and live in your love!

Tomatoes, lobster, crayons...

What do these have in common?
the color red.
I got to hang out with some good friends of mine by the pool yesterday and did not think that I would be out there for 3 hrs. So here I am a day later with aloe smeared all over me and drinking my weight in water to keep myself hydrated. Good times!



My nephew, Jacob, has kept us busy in the last several weeks. He was home for 13 days before he was back in the hospital with pneumonia. After a couple weeks in a in the hospital, he came home from Scottish Rite on Wednesday. He is doing well and finally wants to be held. :) I'm definitely not complaining about that. My sister-in-law, Audri, was playing with nephew #1, JD, on the floor and I laid Jacob for some "tummy time" on my knee so he could watch the fun! He loved it and loves being able to see his older brother run around like the crazy 2 and half year old that he is. It's been such a privilege and a blessing to see the Lord work in this little guy's life. To see that He is more than just a little kid that we love that has a whole lot going on with him in terms of developmental challenges, but to know that God knows every thing that is going on with him from the number of times his tubes come out to the number of hairs on his cute little head. He also loves Jacob more than I ever could and has a plan for Jacob's life that is different than the one I would have picked for him and right now that includes visiting lots of people in scrubs!

The Lord is teaching me great things about Himself as I am going through the process of developing ministry partners to go to Sarajevo. I'm getting to spend time with people that I do not get to every day, hang out and help out with my adorable nephews, see my family, and get a greater and bigger picture of who God is and how He is working every day!

I'm exhausted

It's a phrase I use all the time now! My nephew, Jacob, has been home for a little over a week so now the challenges are just as great, just different! He is adjusting to his new environment, the living room of my brother and sister-in-laws apartment, and keeping everyone busy. JD loves to go see "Baby Jacob" and when he hears Jacob crying he has adopted the universal baby voice that everyone uses when talking to babies and says, "It's ok baby Jacob, don't cry!" It is the sweetest thing I have heard and seen in my whole life! He wants to hold Jacob all the time, but Jacob's preference is that he doesn't like to be held very often so it's mostly when Jacob is asleep that anyone holds him, much less JD. I'm still involved in helping out with JD and meals and laundry a couple days a week while Daniel (my brother) goes up to Rome to work three days a week. This has made for several nights of interrupted sleep- hence the exhaustion.

It's also been a theme in my life that God chooses the late hours to speak to me and show things about myself and Him. This has happened several times lately, including last night. It seems that going to sleep "on time" is less of a priority when God uses they laying awake hours to wash your soul with His presence. I'm constantly amazed at how patient He is with me. So often I choose to listen to others' opinions and trust in those rather than seeing His prioroties and plan for me. Yet He redirects me and in the prosses of convicting me show His gracious love and welcoming me back to His side. I'm reminded of something the apostle Paul wrote to the church in Philippi, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." I'm so thankful that he doesn't give up on me!!!

It's official

My heart is overflowing with all sorts emotions.
I've begun training and ministry partner development for moving to Bosnia in September. I am so blessed to be used by the Father in this far-away and different land where He is calling university students to Himself. What began as a burden for people walking in darkness has become more focused as I spend a year building relationships with college students in Sarajevo telling them about the One who changed my life.

I would love for you to be on my team of ministry partners! A group of people that I am working to put together to contribute financially to the ministry that is going on in Bosnia and that will support my ministry while I am there. check out https://give.ccci.org/give/View/0617927 .

For the past week I've been meeting with some people who have expressed interest in supporting financially what I'm doing and working on letters to send. While doing this I've thought a lot about how blessed I am to know the truth and to have the opportunity to know God personally and to experience His love and share it with other so they can experience it as well. My friend shared something with me that gave me this perspective. She showed me a picture of a grave yard in Sarajevo and remarked,"Look at all those muslims."

How can I stand by and live my life by racking up all the stuff that the world tells me I'm supposed to have, saving my money and then spending it on things that I can not take with me from this life? I must choose everyday to invest in the things do not pass away with a changing economy or styles, instead I was created for relationships and encouragement, and to go and make disciples of ALL nations that every tongue of every nation and every people will sing praises to God.

Can you imagine standing in a room full of people that you have never met that are all singing the same song, at least it has the same tune, but you can't understand what the people all around you are saying because it's all different. You see their faces as tears stream down and their arms raised as a sign of submission and pleading, and you know they mean those words just as you do, even if it sounds a little different.

This is the one true God, the one who comes down in a cloud and a pillar of fire. He comes like a thief in the night and a Glorious King of Kings, to seek and save all those who are lost. The one who made blind men see and healed Bible-time cancer (leprosy), who chose to provide a way through Jesus to bridge the gulf that separated us from Himself and tore the veil that divided us from Him in two during an earthquake as His son died on a painful cross. Who then raised His son up to life after three days, beating death and providing for relationship with Himself. Glory to the Lamb that was slain!

i go walking before midnight

So I'm taking a walk to think and talk to God. We're talking about what I'm struggling with and it hits me. This guy that I'm talking to (God) was the one who wrote it all. History, I mean. Umm, er- well, He wrote it when it was the future. So...yeah. He wrote it. Future history. Anyway what I'm saying is that everything that takes place, the good and the bad. He wrote it way before it ever came to pass. So before I lost my job, before Jacob was born, before I had to move, God lead me to go Bosnia- all of it. This is what happened.

Way back before there was time, God the master designer and planner made a plan. He decided that there was going to be no other than Him and no one was going to be able to receive as much praise and high fives as Him, so He had this plan to make sure that everyone- even the angels knew how Awesome He is. The earth was created and sin entered the world. People were made for relationship, though. And with someone in particular- God. Having this planned all along, God is very patient and watches as men and women devise all sorts of things that could make them happy, because like you and me, we all know something is missing. So we look until we think we find something, and then when it doesn't keep us happy anymore we move on to something else. But the whole time men and women are following this vicious cycle. Even His chosen people, the Jews, who constantly had someone that God would speak through to them to tell them His plan, missed what life is truly all about. So finally, according to "the plan" God decides to send His Son whom He loves to earth, the way we all came, as a baby.

This specific baby was not born at a hospital, or rushed to the NICU because he was too little. He did not have tubes shoved down his nose and throat. Nor did he weigh in at a little over 2.5lbs, like my nephew. No- He was a perfect baby. He must have grown up asking God why His father, Joseph just wasn't as great of a Dad as God was. But like us He was born with a specific purpose. Hew was here to do one job. The one thing that every human feared more than anything else. Not to die. He was sent to grow up and then be rejected by His friends, His brothers and even those He did not know. And then in the middle of this horrific humiliation- His perfect Father turned His back on Him because that was what his job required. For this man, Jesus, was covered with everything that was wrong and unjust. Every hateful word and deed. Every thought that was not loving. Everything that was horrible in the sight of a righteous and perfect God, from the beginning to the end,was placed onto Jesus as he took the penalty that I had earned, for because of my filth and hate and imperfection I had earned death. But instead while I was still in my filth and selfishness, Jesus took it on himself for me. He did the job and did it well! He died a criminal's death, was buried, but the tomb could not hold onto the Son of God. He rose from the dead and 40 days later went back to be with His Father.

All this was part of the plan. The plan for me to have a relationship. Yes, communication, conversation, time, and compromise- a real relationship with the creator of the universe. And these things that I often let my focus rest on: a job, a place to live, sickness, and struggles, are on purpose. They are not in hate, but in love that I might see what I can not handle and run back to my relationship with the One that can- the Savior. So I may not be able to change it, and it may not be the way that I would have planned, but it is the way that I choose. For without Him I would still be lost, confused, running after the things that I think will make me happy. Forsaking the One thing that will.
but if we walk in the light, God himself being the light, we also experience a shared life with one another, as the sacrificed blood of Jesus, God's Son, purges all our sin 1 John 1:7

a Bummer and a Blessing

I thought I was finally getting acquainted with good days and bad days and a little of both. Today, however, when we found out that Jacob was not going to be able to come home on Saturday and that they put him on oxygen I was really frustrated and down. I thought he was doing better, he had failed his car seat test because he has trouble breathing in that particular position, but I didn't know that he would require full-time oxygen to help him breathe. I think the fact that he had not needed respiratory assistance from the beginning except for about 24 hours was something I had held onto like an anchor in the middle of all this new vocabulary and changing statuses. Whatever it was it hit me hard. The other thing is that I was driving down to GA state to do some hanging out with students and training in evangelism and I really could not focus on it, I needed to focus on what the Lord was leading me through for the next couple hours.

Which leads me to the blessing- just the unbelievable peace and assurance of my faith as I was able to have conversations with several different people who have completely different stories and backgrounds than I do. It was fun! Yes I actually enjoyed striking up conversations with people using some photographs and talking to them about their life and sharing a little of mine. The unbelievable blessing of giving away what has been giving to me and the timely distraction to do something that I would have to rely on God for instead of wallowing in my frustration and questions. One more day, one more way to trust the Lord.

...and hope does not disappoint

With the craziness of life as it is I realized that I forgot to let everyone know what was on the "down low" for awhile: I applied for an International internship with Campus Crusade for Christ before I was laid off and it looks like it's going to happen- the slightly tricky part is that it doesn't start until August. So I'm still looking for a job, logging it for the Ga DOL, helping Audri out and hanging with JD, etc. I am officially moved into my new home- the downstairs basement apartment of my friend April's house (Thanks, friend!) and I love it! Oh and I'm moving to, of all places- Bosnia! Wait I don't speak Bosnian, Lord what are you thinking???

I'm able to be more involved on campus with the chicas at GSU and I am really enjoying getting to know and grow with them. We are part of an on-campus Bible study in the dorms that is now student-led. The girls are finding out how much fun I was having when I was helping to moderate these Biblical discussions. Also several girls are spending consistent time weekly going a little deeper in their faith and learning about evangelism and meeting new people to share their faith with. I'm in there with them and learning right along side them- hopefully I'm going to learn to lead as well! My friend Rachel who is on staff with CRU is challenging me in new ways to become more like Christ and I am enjoying watching God work through me and change me, well, most of the time anyway.

Oh yeah- and Jacob is supposed to leave the hospital and go home this weekend!!! Pray that this happens and that he doesn't keep spitting up and blocking his breathing.
"You are good and the source of good, guide me in Your goodness." Ps.119:68Msg

Anything else...Bring it on!! Ok just kidding.

I am always amazed at God's timing and the ways He chooses to use me. Not long after I was laid off from my job, my brother and sister-in-law had their second beautiful boy, but this one was born at 34 weeks 6 days gestation. In essence Jacob Andrew Cook was early. We were kind of expecting this, but were hoping that with "Baby Jacob's" birth would come answers as to why he was developing slowly In Utero and what the course of treatment would be.
Here we are three weeks later and aren't very much closer to knowing what's going on, but we hope in Jesus who does not disappoint and are so thankful that he is breathing on his own and learning to take a bottle in place of continuous tube feedings. He is also awake for a little more time everyday and is the cutest baby, and the smallest you have ever seen, weighing in at 3lbs, 7.4oz.
Check out their blog: http://www.jcookclan.blogspot.com

God provided me the time to be able to help out during this crazy time with Audri staying at my house and JD, my older nephew comes over for frequent visits to "Hala's house."

While this 3-ring circus is going on I'm looking for a job and because of my lack of income, moving out of my first "own place." God has graciously provided yet again for my needs with a basement apartment for me to live in that belongs to some friends from my church! "I feel upheaval in my life in every area," my sister-in-law, Audri, and I were talking about this last night, "But I feel like God is continually providing for all my needs." He is providing me a place to stay, food to eat, emotional support, people to help me move, accountability during this stressful time, a place to serve and people to love and be loved in return. He is so faithful!

I was able to go to Preview Weekend with Campus Crusade for Christ, the company I'm working with on campus at Georgia State University and it was an awesome time of encouragement and a break for everything that is going on. It was a great time of fellowship, answered questions, and affirmation that everything that is going on in my life is for a reason and is not an accident.

Where did it GO?

I find it sort of ironic that I wrote about "living the dream" in my last post, oh so long ago because that life completely changed for me last week. I got laid off from my first job. I remember feeling very shocked because I had no prior warning, but other than that I felt pretty much hopeful that I would find another one until this past Wednesday. I heard that the state of GA had a hiring freeze in effect until June so I decided to go ahead and file unemployment, yet another first.
But despite all the changes that are the effect of losing my job: moving, loss of income, loss of interaction with people every day, I choose to trust God.
"This is not the way I would have chosen, but He leads me through a world that's not my home. He never said it would be easy, but He said I'd never go alone.

I'm reminded of this Ginny Owens song as I again adjust my focus onto His face, a leaving the worries and challenges to fend for themselves for a time. I do not understand why my Heavenly Father has allowed this, or what He is leading my on to do, but I do know that I am not forgotten. This was not accident and although it was a shock to me, he was in no way surprised by me losing my job and he is not scrounging around for me a place to live or some sort of income. He has already provided for all my needs. I am His daughter and He has no plans of leaving me where I am or separating Himself from me.
So yesterday as I awoke to go stand in line with many other Georgians who had similarly lost there jobs, I was reminded that this is just one more side street on the journey of my life. This is not an end, or even a detour, this is the road of my life that my Father has ordained my steps on, I just can't see what's at the next intersection yet.

Living the Dream...

My friend, Kelly, and I have this saying whenever we start to feel down talking about all thing new things in our lives and all the bills we have to pay and the great salary that we don't have yet- we say we're "livin' the dream." The dream is to have an education in something, have a regular job, and a place to live that has a different address than your parents, bills to pay, and they ever coveted FREEDOM!!

No one ever told us that this phase of live comes with responsibility out the wazoo, big questions to answer, life decisions to make, and everything else that comes with everyday life! You know laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, keeping up with car maintenance, you know all the little things that just get done when you live at home and no one really pays attention.

Well- I've arrived- I've officially lived on my own for over six months. I have paid bills, kept my house clean (mostly), even managed to cook often enough, but I really don't feel like I've arrived. Sometimes I miss the schedule of school- staying up late, hanging out with people. One thing I am doing this semester (see I still measure time like I'm in school.) that I'm excited about it hanging out with students again at Georgia State. Since that is where I graduated from I have a vested interest in what happens on the campus. I helping out with the weekly Bible Study that is now Student-led!!!! I am also looking forward to hanging out with students and growing with them in their walk with Christ.
So amid the monotony of getting up and doing the same thing all day everyday, five days a week, I can definitely see God using me right where I am, and pushing me forward.